Shift in Planetary Consciousness

There has been a shift in the planetary consciousness. A small rift pulling at the very fabric of the dream of the planet that threatens or perhaps promises to change everything. A shift that holds the possibility of ushering in a New Age of Enlightenment and universal healing.

Those who have eyes to see will intuit the truth in this observation. Those prepared to champion the birth of the shift and support it will rise to the occasion as spiritual warriors. They will send continual healing energies out to the whole world and apply distance healing techniques to critical points in time (past present and future) and space (and the silence in between) to bolster the shift and enhance it further.

This is the beginning of a new understanding and a new dream. The dream we are all living is of our own creation. It is our perception of reality that we can choose to change at any moment. We each have the power within ourselves to create a hell or a heaven. Why not collectively choose to dream a different dream? Why not dream in unity of Unity and Oneness? Why not indeed. We do not have to feed the dream of the planet and continue to stumble blindly through the fog and believe the illusion that we are separate.

“See yourself living a new life, a new dream, a life where you don’t need to justify your existence and you are free to be who you really are.

Imagine that you have permission to be happy and to really enjoy your life. Your life is free of conflict with yourself and others.

Imagine living your life without fear of expressing your dreams. You know what you want, what you don’t want, and when you want it. You are free to change your life the way you really want to. You are not afraid to ask for what you need, to say yes or not to anything or anyone.

Imagine living your life without fear of being judged by others. You no longer rule your behavior according to what others may think about you. You are no longer responsible for anyone’s opinion. You have no need to control anyone, and no one controls you, either.

Imagine living your life without judging others. You can easily forgive others and let go of any judgments that you have. You don’t have the need to be right, and you don’t need to make anyone else wrong. You respect yourself and everyone else, and they respect you in return.

Imagine living without the fear of loving and not being loved. You are no longer afraid to be rejected, and you don’t have the need to be accepted. You can walk in the world with your heart completely open, and not be afraid to be hurt.

Imagine living your life without being afraid to take a risk and to explore life. You are not afraid to lose anything. You are not afraid to be alive in the world, and you are not afraid to die.

Imagine you love yourself just the way you are. You love your body just the way it is, and you love your emotions just the way they are. You know that you are perfect just as you are.”

The world is very beautiful and wonderful. If you allow Love to rule your life then you can realize the inner peace that will change your perception of everything. This way of life is possible and the power to create it is in your hands. In your mind and very soul. The choice is yours to move into the new birthed consciousness or to deny it. What will it be?

[Quotes are from The Four Agreements: A Toltec Wisdom Book by Don Miguel Ruiz]

Stairway of Healing Light

Yesterday, during an hour long meditation that had my spirit joining a distance energy healing of world issues, I experienced several visions. Visions are quite common to me during meditative states and energy or vibrational healing sessions. However, one particular vision has remained strong on my heart. When that happens, I must share and let it go back out to the All That Is. That’s because someone somewhere will glimpse some truth for themselves in the message of the vision I humbly share. I am but the willing vessel, the conduit or channel, the messenger of the Universe.

I found myself standing on a step of a very large stairway composed of pure white healing light. the stairway extended upward above me and downward below me further than the eye could see. On each step in both directions there stood a single person. These people were of every race, creed, sex, shape and size with no perceivable pattern as to their selection to stand on their particular step. Then the person on the step below mine handed me a sickened child. This child was horribly emaciated and full of sores and appeared to languish near death. I took the child gently and held him close to my body and felt him mold against me and his frail bones through dry taunt skin. I willed love and healing energies to flow from me into him and I felt tears of compassion begin to flow from my eyes. A time passed and I knew I must turn and hand the child to the person on the step above me who would in turn lov and heal the child themselves and then pass him on to the next step above them. I then took another child from the person on the step below me and this child was ill but not with the same sickness as the previous child. I performed the same loving healing ministrations on the child and felt heat and light pass from me to her. I then turned to hand her to the person on the next step. At this time, I could see that the children were being healed further as they passed upward on the stairway of light and healers. The children became healthier and plumper and full of joy. My tears were warm on my cheeks as I turned to take the next child and saw the line down the staircase to be long and with no end in sight. A momentary helpless response flitted across my mind but then I noticed the constant line of people of all faiths and nations handing children up the stairway to one another and adding their love and healing on the way. Then I noticed that the children being handed to me from the stair below were healthier and less frail and dirty than the earlier ones. It was almost as if they were being healed more quickly on the lower steps before they got to my step. Within a few children I found myself holding a whole child loving and laughing as I took her into my arms. A child that was healing me in return as I held her and loved her unconditionally. What a peaceful loving embrace that we parted reluctantly as I handed her to the step above and saw her changing even then before my eyes. Changing into a woman full of grace and life and light. A healer was born before my eyes on that stairway of light.

Then the vision changed and that may be another story and post for another time.

A Dream Within a Dream – Part 2

A dream within a dream. A confusing concept I had not contemplated before. But that’s exactly what happened. My dream character closed his eyes and momentary darkness turned to dreaming. And I found myself whisked from the perspective of observer of the dream-self character to become fully engulfed into his psyche and persona. I was he and he was I and the distinction between dreamer and the dreamed evaporated. I found myself transported inside of him fully and became him totally. I was the one lying there on the narrow cot in that darkened and dank subterranean cubicle on some alternate future post-apocalyptic Earth. And this is what he… or I… or we … dreamed.

I found myself in a vast room that appeared made entirely from a beautiful white and gray marble and the room was filled with a bright illumination that seemed to come from all around versus from a single point. The architecture reminded me of ancient Greece as there were a lot of very tall and ornate marble columns. The columns didn’t appear to be supporting anything as I could see how tall they were and where their tops were but the ceiling was much further up and out of sight.

I turned around and around as trying to get my bearings when I was unexpectedly confronted with an individual standing in front of me. He, or maybe she, was dressed in a silver/gray tunic that was skin tight and resembled something that would have appeared on a Star Trek television show. As to my confusion on this person’s sex I say that whenever I find myself in the presence of these dream entities I have difficulty discerning their sex. I seem to know their “sex” in the dream but recounting it seems to be unclear and the idea of sexual division or separation doesn’t seem quite correct. He had olive colored skin and thick, long curly black hair. I was not startled by him and, in fact, knew him and feel comfortable with him. His uniform had some strange writing on his left breast. It was a series of characters I didn’t recognize and I asked this person what it said. He nonchalantly said, “Oh, that tells you what the individual is going to teach you. For instance…” and with that he raised a very large book I had not noticed him holding in front of him and opened it so I could see. Then he continued his explanation, “I am to teach you the terms and definitions you need to know. Here, in this book is every term and definition you will need to fully understand.”

“Understand what?” I asked feeling bewildered.

“Spatial Understanding”, he stated in a matter of fact tone and put the book directly in my face.

“Special Understanding?” I asked still puzzled.

“No, Spatial not special,” he said as if frustrated and talking patiently with a child. Then he literally spelled it out for me, “S-P-A-T-I-A-L, spatial.” And then it seemed as if it was very clear to me and I understood what he meant. However, I cannot tell you at this moment what it was I thought I understood.

The book appeared to be a sort of dictionary that listed words and phrases with their definitions. There were no pictures, just text. The text was similar to the strange characters on his tunic but I was able to read them and I was growing excited as I read. My guide just held the book in front of me and turned the pages as I finished each one (without me telling him to, I might add). It all made so much sense. It was all so clear now. This was so simple and made so much sense out of … everything? It was also something that I needed to know and would help me. I felt a sense of urgency and thought to myself that I needed to remember all of this whenever I awoke because it was so important. I concentrated harder on what was being shown and told to me because I didn’t want to miss a thing.

Quickly and sooner than I liked, the book was completed and the gray-suited being closed the massive volume. I felt anxiety because I could already feel the knowledge I just observed slipping away. Slipping away from me the dreamer who would not remember enough in my physical form of what I just learned. I struggled to remember what I had just seen, but yet, I knew that I had learned what I was supposed to even if my physical self couldn’t contain it.

The being in gray was smiling and said, “Now you must move on to the others.” Then there was another person standing in front of me who looked very much like the first. This entity was more definitely female in her presence and she was dressed in a white outfit of the same style as the first person. The characters over her left breast were different than the first. I don’t know if I could read them or not. She began speaking and a large view screen materialized behind and to the left of her as she faced me.

“Now I will show you the symbols and their meanings,” she said as she turned ever so slightly towards the screen. On it all sorts of symbols began to appear then fade away to be replaced by a new and different symbol. I could no longer see my teacher as my full attention was focused on the screen and the rapidly changing symbols but I could hear her voice telling me the name and meaning of each symbol as it appeared. It seems that we went through the symbols several times as I recall them repeating themselves and I was naming them with her as they did so. Sort of like a lesson review.

Again, I was filled with the sense that these symbols were spiritually significant and that I should remember them so that I could write them all down whenever I awoke. As the screen darkened and no more symbols appeared I felt the knowledge again slipping away from my consciousness. I must assume it only slipped away from my physical self and not my spiritual or else why would these teachers even have bothered?

The next being that was suddenly in front of me also had a view screen but it was much smaller and on a pedestal of some sort. Almost like an old fashioned computer terminal. This person was dressed in the same style outfit as the other two but the outfit was bright red and the description tag on its left breast was different. The “computer” screen came to life and an object like some sort of complex machine appeared. “I am to show you the objects and their functions,” a voice said which I naturally assumed was my third teacher speaking. This session was much like the one with the symbols except each one of the objects appeared to be mechanical in nature and I felt amazement as I suddenly realized that I fully understood the function of each of the objects that appeared. Again, I found myself thinking in the physical self that I wanted to remember every one of these objects and their functions. But whenever the lesson was over and the screen blanked out I felt the knowledge of the miraculous devices fading rapidly. I remember thinking that I should force myself to awaken at that very moment while the information was still fresh and write immediately what I had seen. But I couldn’t and the next lesson soon began.

I write this only a few hours after awaking and even now the scenes grow more cloudy and confused. I do my best not to embellish anything in recounting my dreams and thus will sometimes avoid writing a detail that I am not certain was just the way it happened in the dream. That is the case now with the next two teachers. I remember the next individual after the one dressed in red was dressed in blue, but I cannot tell you what we discussed or what I may have been shown. I just don’t remember now. The next teacher or master was dressed in the same style outfit as the others but the clothing was all black. Again, I don’t know what this person said to me or showed me (if anything). If there was someone after the teacher in black (and I sense there was) I can’t recall their color or content of our contact.

This is frustrating for me because even now I know that what I was shown and instructed was of major importance. Possibly this experience was only important for my soul and not intended for the flesh. I sincerely think this to be an example of my soul receiving instruction and comfort from a realm it visits frequently and that I (the flesh I) was allowed to observe it but barred from remembering the exact details. Exactly why, I don’t know and won’t venture to guess.

The dream ended with me rising into the air. I was looking down watching the beautiful marble floor recede beneath me. After I was a ways into the air I could see that I had been in the center of a circle of these teachers. As I got higher into the air the teachers only became dots that formed a perfect circle and a voice came into my mind. I don’t remember the exact words but it said something about the dots that formed the circle that I was hovering above. The voice said that each of the teachers had represented a part of the spatial teachings and each had a relation to the other that represented the whole. Once more, at the time I fully understood what the voice was telling me but now don’t have a clue as to the meaning.

I felt a sudden sadness at leaving these teachers but then I felt a calmness and peace as if I knew that I would be returning sometime in the future for more instruction. I rose higher and higher until the circle of teachers was just a dot itself on a vast white background. I awoke and noted that it was thirty minutes before my alarm was to go off but I felt refreshed and excited to start documenting what I had just dreamed.

A Dream Within a Dream – Part 1

I experience many things in my dream journeys but I have never, until recently, experienced the disconcerting perception of lost time. Until now I had thought of lost time as being the claim of alien abductees but never of someone who was primarily a dreamer. I am not a psychologist thus have not studied such things to even know if what I am referring to is actually lost time or some other sleep phenomena. What occurred was this…

I attempted sleep around 11:45 p.m. and had difficulty getting comfortable. I lay there nearly frustrated from my lack of ability to fall asleep as easily as I normally do and decided to turn over onto my left side. In doing so, I looked at my bedside digital clock and was astonished to see that it showed 4 a.m. There I was, fully awake and cognizant without any consciousness of having slept a single moment however at least four hours had passed from when I had turned off my lamp. I felt an instant alarm wash over me and the thought of lost time came into my head. But, just as suddenly, I felt an uncanny calm overcome me. A calm I usually only experience in my post meditative state. With a spontaneous smile that felt like knowing I closed my eyes and instantly fell fast asleep.

Immediately I began to dream. The base or entry dream itself is not of real importance in this particular recounting. It was an entertaining enough dream in which I found myself on an alternate Earth living in a large underground habitat. I was some sort of law enforcement officer and felt I was experiencing some future event of this alternate world. The world appeared to be post-apocalyptic with major destruction of much of the city. There were fierce battles with insurgents or roving organized bands of Mad Max-like bandits. Remember, time does not exist in the dream journeys I experience. In other words, I may dream of situations that take several weeks to unfold but awake to only a couple hours or even a few minutes of “real time” passage.

My dream traveler role this time was as observer as if I were watching a movie of my dream-self character with him unaware of my presence. An odd experience since I, the Dreamer, am fully in touch with my present consciousness and observing another manifestation of “me” acting out his life without knowledge of me the observer. In these instances, I am able to fully experience myself as me and as him simultaneously. Experientially complete with thoughts, emotions, and physical sensation. At times, I may switch between observer roll and completely immerse myself in the dream character role and my point of view changes to first person from the eyes of the dream character. However, I must admit that I do not always choose these identity swaps of my own free will.

Another peculiar point about this dream was when my dream character decided he was tired and went to his cramped cubicle to sleep. Until that moment I don’t recall ever having a dream in which my dream-self decided to sleep. The observer identity I call me or I knew I was in the dream state and was still primarily the observer of the dream. Being also the dream character, I knew what his thoughts were. He was bone weary and needed rest badly as he near exhaustion. I found myself, the me or I of the Dreamer, to suddenly be concerned of what may occur should I allow the dream-self character to fall asleep. I will usually choose to wake up or change a dream scenario if it gets too bad or disconcerting. That thought crossed my mind then since I didn’t know the ramifications or expectations of the Dreamer experiencing the dreams of a dream-self character. Sometimes I am not successful vacating or abandoning a dream and must suffer whatever ill befalls the dream-self character. In those times I have endured injury or even death many times over.

I had no idea what to expect as my dream character lay on his cot in that cramped dirty cubicle with only a filthy curtain across the doorway as privacy. I do know that his last thoughts before drifting off to sleep where focused on wanting to discover the identity of the perpetrator. Then he slept. And he dreamed.

[To Be Continued in Part 2]

A Dream Within A Dream
By Edgar Allan Poe (1849)

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep – while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

Facing and Eliminating Fear

We are eternal beings made of a life force that will never end. We are one with and an extension of the endless creative energies stream flowing from the infinite intelligence some call ‘God’ and that I prefer to call “The All That Is”.

We are not alone and, in fact, can never be alone no matter our perception or how hard we try to enforce our “separateness”. We are all interrelated and a minute faction of The All That Is.

Remember, there are only two emotions that drive our world or this reality. Love and Fear. Love is the higher vibration and overcomes Fear’s paralyzing hold. To free ourselves from Fear we must exist in the thought that we are a part of something greater than the Fear. By realizing our connectivity to the infinite energy source we accept ourselves as co-creators with the infinite intelligence that created the entire universe and all dimensions and iterations yet to be discovered by man.

Human science has shown that energy can not be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another or transferred from one body to another. Keeping ourselves in alignment or in the vibrational frequency of this wondrous creative energy stream will allow us to create at will our own realities and become who we really are.

Who we really are and not what we trick ourselves into thinking others perceive us as. The truth is that we place those perceptions on ourselves as they are of our own creation. No one can make us do or be anything we do not choose.

Tapping into the energy stream of creativity empowers us to free ourselves from Fear and set forth our higher intentions and manifest our dreams into reality. If Fear arises, refocus on the positive things in your life. Set yourself immediately into gratitude and acceptance and realign yourself with the vibrational frequencies of success and Love.

How can we do this realignment or adjustment back into the proper vibration of The All That Is? Jesus himself taught us by his example that prayer and meditation are the tools to reconnect to the creative energy stream.

If Fear arises don’t resist it. Embrace the Fear and draw it into your conscious awareness. Once you ensnare the Fear in your consciousness, or what some call ‘heart’, you are able to transform that Fear into Love and thus shift the vibrational frequency to your higher intention and negate the crippling affects of the Fear.

Fear is only an illusion we allow to exist and can be controlled and even nullified through transforming its energies into Love.

Awaken and Break the Cycle

Most of us have moved through our lives without ever realizing the truth. The truth that we are unlimited energy beings bound only by our limited thinking and subdued imaginings. Without exception, every one of us creates our own reality whether we recognize that fact and take responsibility for it or not.

We most often followed in the thinking and belief systems demonstrated to us by our parents and accepted that without question as the way of the world. Many of us have perpetuated the cycle of thought deception and falsely, even if ignorantly, taught the limitation of our creative capabilities to our children and those in our sphere of influence. Some of us awaken to the thought that this cycle of limitation belief no longer serves us and intuit the cycle can be broken and belief systems changed.

It is never too late to awaken. It is never too late to break the cycle of limitation.

Once the process of awakening has begun it cannot be reversed. Awakening is a complete shift in consciousness and can happen in a moment, “in the twinkling of an eye”. However, for some, it is a process in which a gradual transformation occurs in many areas of their lives over a period until a realization of an awaken state is perceived.

Dream Without Limits

“I am willing to expand beyond the limits I have placed on myself and those I have allowed others to place upon me.” ~ Iyanla Vanzant

We are powerful creators. We can have or do any desire of our hearts. How? We are energy beings.

Energy always flows, always moves in either the direction of our dreams or away from them. Energy is never stagnant or fixed. Energy is limitless and is all that is and fills the spaces in between. We direct these ever moving limitless energies with our dreams by determining the vibrational frequencies we radiate into the universe. Those vibrational commands begin with our thoughts.

Think about that for a moment.

Our thoughts are the beginning of all the creative manifestations of our reality. Thoughts become perceived reality through modifying the vibrations we project from ourselves into the universe. We are literally what we think. We are energy beings. Thus we can also become what we think.

Sometimes we do not think big enough because we are fearful or doubtful of our worthiness to create the realities we desire. Therefore, we settle for less than our utmost because we do not believe we can dream for more. Belief is thought. Thoughts of doubt or fear inhibit the creative process and bring about less than our perfect desire of being true to ourselves and who we really are.

We must remember that all the ability, all the power and all the energies of the universe to create what we desire lies within each of us at this very moment. The Now. We can dream as big as our imaginations. We can think into existence whatever our level of faith allows. Let us think without limits. Let us dream beyond our imaginings. Let us create with confidence the desires of our hearts Now.

I Am Not by Frank Henninger

I am not merely my stuff
The constantly changing assortment of physical possessions
That surrounds and seems to define me
I am not my money, my net worth, or my estate
I am that which needs no possessions
Yet has abundance and wealth beyond imagination
Whose energy infuses all mediums of exchange with its value.

I am not my body
Not its size, its health, age or look
Not a physical being at all
I am that which needs no body
Yet enjoys the physical life of this one
As a free choice, for a while,
A convenient vehicle for Spirit to move around in
On this one planet, among the billions to be explored.

I am not male or female
But that which has no gender
I am not straight, or gay, celibate or profligate
But that which desires no sex.

I am not son or brother, husband or father
Not employee or boss
Mentor or student
But that which has no role at all
In human affairs
That which needs no other
By which to contrast and define itself.

I am not my experiences
Neither physical nor spiritual
Good or bad, celebrated or damned
But pure contemplation and joy
Without comparison or pain.

I am not my thoughts or my mind
Though its wisdom be great
And its acuity be sharp
I am that which is beyond all thoughts
And that which thinks all thoughts.

I am not my IQ or my personality type
Not my talents, memories or dreams
But that which needs none of these
To have identity, purpose and awareness.

I am not that which I love
My mate, my family, or friends
But I am Love
Eros, filios, and agape
All at once
The divine substance for which there is no human word.

I am a spiritual Being
Not one of many
But a unique expression of the One
Creating this experience today, here, with you
As you have your creative experience
Of the spiritual Being that you are
Another unique expression of the One
Here, today, with me
Without there truly being a you, and a me.

I am not bound by time
I am not bound by space
But am that which is boundless
And timeless
And without measurement, dimension, or form.

When I look in the mirror
I do not see me
I see you
I see all
I see nothing
I see everything
I see God looking back at me
Through my eyes.

Frank Henninger is author of the book Compass Points.

Image © Vladimir Kush

Dream Journal – February 1989 – Purging Flames

Last night the sun exploded and I didn’t wake up. I wanted to but just could not muster the strength nor the will to avoid death.

As if I could.

My heart raced and my step-father ran beside me with absolute terror on his face. We both knew we were dead but he didn’t know it was a dream. Together we ran and together we watched the sun dissolve. Its consuming flames brought blind blackness as it melted our eyes in their sockets and its searing tongue licked the flesh from our bones.

Actually, the thought of dying such an agonizing death with the man I hated and feared so intensely most of my life was quite refreshing and liberating. Though drenched in sweat when I jerked awake, I had a sincere smile on my face and felt more alive than ever.

Image © Daryl Sim

Dream Journal – January 1989 – Warm Winds of Death

Last night I dreamed I was back in the military and things were not right with the world.  I was part of a special forces unit that could come and go as they wished as missions allowed.  I was trying to find my way home to my family before it was too late.  Too late?  Too late for what?  All I knew was that time was running out and the sense of urgency was making my heart race in both the dream realm and in my physical body that was beginning to sweat between the thin sheets of my bedding.

I was hitching a ride on a train and watching the landscape speed by through an open boxcar door.  I was dressed in camouflaged fatigues and when I removed my cap I saw it was a brown beret with a lightning bolt crest upon it.  (Note to reader: This dream was unusual in the sense that at times I could see myself as if I were someone else observing me or as if I were watching a movie of myself.  Other times I could only see my hands and such like “real life” or my “normal” dreams.)  I had a standard Army-issue pack and wore a web belt with full gear attached.  I won’t belabor the point of the accessories it held as they don’t play in this dream but the items were specific and detailed and odd.  Odd in the point that I was unable to grasp why I would be wearing so much combat gear while traveling alone in obvious civilian surroundings to go “home”.  For some reason I really remember the detail of my knife.  It was the only weapon I had.  A weapon I knew was pretty much useless for what I was facing.

I felt healthy and full of life, yet saddened.  I observed that the land was dressed in the colors of Winter but it felt so much warmer and more humid than Winter should.  Everything seemed parched and dead.  I didn’t see any people at all as the train continued on its course.   The train passed through a very large city filled with huge domes and spires but there was no traffic or pedestrians.  All of the scenery appeared to be bathed in the light of dawn and that never changed no matter how many hours passed.

I noticed there was another soldier with me but i could only hear him and not see him.  We talked softly to each other in a hushed tone about the apparent destruction that was becoming more obvious as the train moved on.  The city of domes and spires had once been beautiful and the pride of its people.  The domes were now covered with jagged cracks with large chunks missing.  Bridges were partially destroyed and everything seemed to be covered in a gray powder.

“Neutron bomb?” I asked my unseen partner.

“I don’t think so, not enough residual radiation still in the air.  Whatever it was it killed everyone and didn’t do a whole lot of structural damage.”

All of this was spoken in near whispers to my unseen comrade and I began feeling dread that I was already too late.  Late for what, I still was not certain.

Suddenly, I was off the train and walking along the tracks carrying my pack at my left side.  My traveling companion was not revealed to me as we parted company and he told me he would miss me.  I think I was afraid or ashamed to look towards him and identify him.  As assuredly as I knew he had been with me to that point I knew that he was now gone and I was alone.

I felt strong and fragments of memories started flitting through my brain.  Memories of recent encounters with the “enemy”.  Mental glimpses of fleeting images that I could not muster an emotion for.

I turned off the tracks and was walking down the street of an older suburban housing area that seemed to be located in the Mid-West or the South.  There were telephone poles lining the street and all the lawns seemed to be well manicured even if the grass was gray and dead looking.  I was on a sidewalk and turned onto a walkway leading to a home that had a large porch.  I knew I had reached my destination.

I walked onto the porch and knocked on the screen door noting how nice the older home had been kept up during these troubling times.  At that moment I actually had no idea who, if anyone, would answer the door but I seemed to intuit that I was indeed at the right address.  I knocked again and the door started to open.  I felt anticipation grow inside of me and heart beat even faster as the door opened and revealed K. (my ex-wife) peeking around its edge.  I was surprised but not shocked.  K. displayed a big smile and pushed the screen door open and invited me into the house.

I tossed my pack onto the living room floor and turned to her.  She grabbed me and hugged me tightly.  Not a wifely sort of hug but affectionate nonetheless.  She was wearing blue jeans and a peasant blouse and appeared to be around her mid twenties.  Was I also that age range?  Don’t remember what I looked like on the damn train.  Not important now.

I remembered we did not kiss and I was relieved that we didn’t though I felt myself becoming somewhat aroused.  I’m not sure how but we were suddenly sitting on the couch and she was comfortably sitting on my lap.  She asked me something about pictures but not sure what.  S. (my daughter) walked into the room and said, “Hi” very matter of fact just as if I was always around.  I asked her where her brother R. was and she said at a friend’s house.  I told her to hurry and go get him and she promptly left out the front door.

I told K. I needed to call “work”.  I eased her off my lap and onto the couch then reached to pick up the receiver of the phone.  It was one of those old black heavy plastic phone with a rotary dial.  The receiver was heavy in my hand.  I dialed a number and put the receiver to my ear expecting to hear a ring but instead heard a shrill and wavering tone.  I couldn’t figure out what it was at first and started to hang up but then suddenly realized that it was the “Warning”.  I froze for a moment with the realization and then slammed down the receiver and turned to K.

“It’s happening,” I said with a dull lifeless sound to my voice.  Her eyes widened in horror and my heart hammered harder in my chest.  “I want to wake up now,” I said to myself.  I didn’t.

We both ran outside in panic screaming for the children.  She was calling for S. and I was calling for R.  We ran down the steps to the walkway and onto the sidewalk then down to the street corner where a telephone pole stood all the while frantically calling for both the kids.  I felt totally helpless.  I didn’t see anyone else around as if we were the only ones left on earth.  I called louder and louder and could hear my voice cracking from the strain.  I could also hear my “real” voice croaking weakly trying to wake myself up.  Neither of us (my dream self and my physical self) wanted to continue with this nightmare.

I noticed a deep wail of a distant siren and a calm feminine (yet robotic) voice issuing from hidden speakers all around us coolly counting down seconds.  “Twenty… nineteen… eighteen… ” the disembodied voice chanted.

Suddenly, I heard R. calling me, “Daddy!  Daddy!”  I turned and saw him running down the sidewalk toward me with his little eight year old arms outstretched and terror in his eyes.  Oh, the terror in those innocent boy eyes pleading for me to save him.

Then the soft, almost sexy, monotone female voice said, “Zero…  Detonation.”  With “detonation” you could hear the ‘kiss your ass goodbye’ smirk in her machine-produced soulless voice.

Silence.  Time stopped.  For everyone except me.

R. was frozen in mid stride.  His look of absolute terror worn like a horrible mask upon his little face.  He wasn’t moving and I couldn’t move toward him.

Silence.

I turned toward K. and pushed her to the ground while yelling for R. to lay down and close his eyes.  I don’t know if he did or not.  I don’t know where S. was.  Time stopped for everyone.

The silence persisted and as I lay on the ground beside K. I knew I should close my eyes.  But, just like Lot’s wife of the Bible I had to look toward where I knew the city was.  The light of a thousand suns flared above the residential trees rapidly followed by a terrible earthshaking BOOM! that hurt my chest like a vice squeezing the life from me.

K. started to stand up because the light had faded fast but I pulled her back down almost forcibly explaining that the winds would be coming next.  It was too late for R. and S.  It was too late for all of us.

The winds would finish us.  The winds would carry the invisible death to smother us.  I was useless and helpless to do anything to save them or myself.

The wind began to blow warm against my face and I woke up gasping for breath with the sweat soaked sheets sticking to my nakedness.